TV, Jesus, and me...

I don't think this is a shock to anyone reading this blog, but I am a BIG fan of television and media, especially the analytical views and study of media. This has been a love of mine for many years. It's what I went to Cal State Fullerton to study! I knew that films/tv/media was what I wanted to learn more about so I got involved in a club on campus about film studies majors (freshman year I wanted to be a director for film). Along with this film club, I also joined Intervarsity Christian Fellowship spring semester of my freshman year. As the weeks continued that Spring, my film club stopped having regular meetings and wasn't organized with it's scheduling of events which meant that most times I couldn't participate in the little they had planned. Intervarsity, however, had a regular meeting on Thursdays and occasional hangouts (this was before the assumed "after IV" party was a given). I became enthralled with the people and the talks that I heard each week at Intervarsity. For Spring break (my first college spring break) I decided that I would spend a week on Catalina Island with basically people I knew for maybe 1 1/2 months and my closest friend wasn't going. I mean, that's crazy! THAT'S how much I valued my time with IV and felt welcome and wanted.

Then I began hearing about God's heart for the poor and poverty issues, racial divisions needing to be reconciled, and what Christians are called to do and serve the broken and hurting world around them. This was a shock to little miss sheltered-Westlake Village-Erika. After really learning and seeing what God was showing me and teaching me about, I began to question my love of media and everything that I was going to school for. I began asking questions like, "Is it wrong to like these things? Should I change my major and my passions for Jesus?" These were tough questions that came with a lot of guilt for being more knowledgeable about movies and entertainment than issues of racism and poverty (a guilt, I confess, I still carry today).

The next summer I participated in the Los Angeles Urban Project and got first hand knowledge and experiences with poverty, homelessness, and what God has to say about the struggles people face each day when they have no home and no food. I was at the Union Rescue Mission for 6 weeks and my entire world view was changed completely. During a talk about careers and interests, they offered an "Arts" lecture about those interested in working in the "Arts". This was the first time I saw my love of "art" (TV and media) and my passion for Jesus and service collide. It felt great to finally have these two in the same discussion! That summer completely changed who I was and how I saw the world, including media and it's power in society. I have never felt like the same girl who walked through the Rescue Mission doors to begin LAUP that summer (praise God).

After the summer ended, it was back to reality. Back to school and media studies courses that barely speak of justice or poverty. Thankfully I took some American Studies courses that DID talk about media's portrayal of societal issues and how they interact (which is why I love it and eventually added that major to my TV one!). But they still didn't talk about God or His opinion on the matter.

This past Sunday, we had the privilege of listening to an SP missionary from India talk about her journey to going abroad and the road that she had to take along the way. Don't get me wrong, I'm always interested in what the missionaries who visit have to say and share about...but she mentioned one statement that grabbed my attention and held it the entire time. She said "I went to USC and was a film major..." Suddenly I wanted to know her entire life story! I wanted to know what she liked about film, what led her to India and what she was doing with her duel love of justice and film. She went on to explain the answers to all my personal questions and then some! Our paths aren't exactly the same...but God used her and her testimony to speak to me and let me know that He created me with the passions that I have and that I don't have to choose one or the other without both intersecting the other at some point. She mentioned an important statement:

" You will have to work for whichever path you decide. If you choose the Jesus/justice piece, then you'll have to work at the business aspect so you keep informed and that's hard! If you choose the business (tv/professor route) then you'll really have to work at keeping up with Jesus and justice to stay informed and involved. Both require work and both aren't easy. But it's worth it!"

I continue to struggle with this idea that I have to choose between media and justice, tv and Jesus, what's right and wrong. But that's not a black and white decision. There are great things to be had in both! I'm completely aware of the dangers and temptations in TV and pursuing any type of job that includes the study and watching of TV. However, I am also aware of the danger of not allowing me to be myself and express the person God has created through the art of analyzing the media that surrounds us every day. Each comes at a cost, and I'm called to pursue Jesus in the inner city as well as media and how it affects my neighbors and their children as residents of the media-soaked United States.

I don't have it all figured out, but I'm glad that Jesus continues to remind me that He cares about what I care about and that He continues to ask difficult questions that require difficult answers but not impossible ones.

Life is very interesting most times.

It's been a little while since I last updated this blog, and for that I apologize. Lately I have been wrestling with my use of technology (or lack thereof) because time feels like sand slipping through my fingers. I can't seem to hold onto it or use it properly before it's gone. I keep grabbing for more and thinking of new ways to manage it, but still...it slips so quickly from my grasp.

I have been thinking a lot about my relationship with Jesus. I've heard for many years that He is enough, He should be enough, He is my everything, so on. And honestly, I can't say that I experience that daily. Sure it sounds pretty and is always a good reminder of truth that I should know, but I don't walk in that truth. There have been some recent events that have made me seriously process my relationship with Jesus and how I am no good to Him. I ignore Him, blame Him for my issues, doubt His love, only pay close attention to Him when I need Him....
Who wants to be around someone like that? Jesus does. He could treat me the way I treat Him, but He doesn't and He never will. That's beautiful-amazing-confusing-overwhelming-glorious---that's Jesus.

I was talking with a friend online and as I was typing about relationships and all that good stuff...it hit me. I thought "I want to write vows or acknowledgments" and make promises to God that I am truly ready to stick with Him. While I have already made this decision years ago, I feel that it is appropriate to renew those promises after experiencing the hard times and the good times. After seeing all the things that I have seen and been amazed by the power of Jesus in my life and in the lives of my friends/family. And it doesn't end there! God has even more glorious and wonderful plans for my life and for those who worship Him. He is so good to me. I am a lucky girl.

Twenty-Three

It's cool to look back at the years that have passed...

22nd birthday (krista and edith came and met my friends!)

My 21st birthday (pool party and night on the town after!)

This is my 20th birthday at Rosco's Chicken 'n' Waffles in Long Beach.

Looking forward to this next year and what my 23rd will bring!

Many are the plans in a (wo)man's heart

There are many things that I desire. There are many things that I plan for.
Lately, both of these have been changed/destroyed/altered in some way (in their various forms). It's been hard to figure out how to "not plan" when I literally plan each day (whether I say my plans out loud or keep them to myself...I am constantly making plans!)

During a prayer time last week, I felt God saying "See the plans that I am making for you. You've made all these "plans" and yet mine are/will be so much greater because my love for you is great. Trust me with the plans I have for you". It was a rich time with God. I cried because it's difficult to trust that He is making any plans for me, but especially the good/prosperous ones (see Jer. 29:11 below).

Among many things, I desire for my "lives" to mix ( for all my close friends to know/interact with my friends here in South LA). I made plans a while back to use my birthday as an excuse to gather everyone and now it's just not working out. It's really not that big of a deal (birthday's aren't HUGE things for me) but it's the fact that this is yet another plan that isn't working out. Having a birthday in late August is hard because it's a busy time of the year for schools (work is gearing up for 3,000+ students moving back to campus) and for friends that work with other school organizations (especially with IV and taking classes themselves). Now with my Servant Partners schedule getting a little more full, it's even harder. Plans FAIL. But there's always next year, right?

The plans that I make aren't bad, and they are made with every good intention in mind. And yet God still changes them. I'm still learning to "be as a red vine" and be flexible, but it's a daily challenge for me. I searched for the word "plans" in the bible gateway online and there is a long list of scripture dealing with planning/plans/etc. Maybe I should study these? hmm..

¹¹ "But the plans of the LORD stand firm forever,
the purposes of his heart through all generations." Psalm 33:11

²¹ "Many are the plans in a man's heart,
but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails." Proverbs 19:21

¹¹ "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

I'm praying that God would help me in allowing Him to be in control of all my plans and of my entire life. Also that I would find joy in seeing Him plan instead of planning myself.

American Studies Article

It's been over a year since I graduated from college and most times, when people ask what my degree was, they are very confused when they hear one of my majors was American Studies. Usually the look on their face can only be described as a look that says, "What the heck IS American Studies??" When I was in school my answer usually consisted of "It's like mixing anthropology, American history, and sociology into one major". That usually did the trick because those are all relatively known (and recognizable) majors.

I am not asked this "What's you major question" as much since I'm not in college any more. But every once in a while the subject does come up and I always find myself in the same cycle of trying to explain and help people to understand that the heck American Studies is.

Well, I feel like the following New York Times article is a perfect example of how the mind of an American Studies major thinks. Now, I don't know if the author graduated with the AMST degree...but the thought process is very similar to the classes that I remember taking at CSU Fullerton. I thoroughly enjoyed what this author had to say.

If this were a class, I'd ask you what you thought? Have you seen "Funny People"? Do you agree with the author? What does this mean about the politics of America and how they relate to the types of movies being made today?
NYT: Unfunny Truth

In a somewhat related note: this article, "Spoon-fed Cinema" is also very interesting and I recommend it! My favorite quote:

"If you want to make a mature film for mature audiences, make sure it's a cartoon".

I love American Studies!

The Daily Show

Hello Hurricane

Just another reason to absolutely love Switchfoot.

"Hello Hurricane acknowledges the storms that tear through our lives...this album is an attempt to respond to those storms with an element of hope, trying to understand what it means to be hopeful in a world that keeps on spinning." - Jon Foreman

Concert this summer, August 5th.

If you would like a sample of a new song, some fans posted this video on YouTube: